FPL Week Zero - The Defenders

Like Diego Costa, the blog is battling to be ready for the start of the season. Unlike Diego Costa, the blog will not be partaking in any experimental treatments involving horse placentas or painkilling injections.

After last week's magnum opus on Fantasy Football's bargain goalkeepers, I've been bogged down with that grimly ironic ailment: the summer cold. Summer colds are awful. The sun shines without compassion as green phlegm congeals around your windpipe and your sinuses swell to painful proportions. The August heat only serves to exacerbate the burn of your headache. You can't drink cough medicine in the office without people thinking you're a "dirty sprite"-sipping codeine addict.

Like Ledley King, the blog is struggling for fitness

Nevertheless, you can rest assured that I won't be leaving my FPL preview unfinished. The new season beckons, the pitches are prepared, and the loudmouths at work want buy-in money for their Fantasy league. In the immortal words of the great American poet Young Jeezy, let's get it.

Part Two - Defenders

In real football, defenders are the foundations upon which great teams are built. Ideally, they're rugged athletes who can mark their man, win headers and play the ball out from the back. They're competent but unflashy and know how to work as a unit. However, none of this really matters in Fantasy Football, which rewards an odd blend of bruising centre-halves like John Terry (177 points last season) and cavalier full-backs in the Leighton Baines (139 pts) mold.

Those two FPL perennials, along with the freakishly excellent Branislav Ivanovic (179 pts), have been excluded from my selection. Feel free to take a look at that trio, but brace yourself for the hit on your wallet.      

Fantasy Force: Leighton Baines

My first choice in defence is Jose Holebas, who at just £4.5m takes on the role of Budget Baines this campaign. The Greek left-back averages approximately a goal every ten games throughout his career, and is always a pacy attacking outlet for the national team. Add in his Champions League pedigree from stints at Olympiakos and AS Roma, and Holebas represents a good punt, particularly with just 0.6% of managers selecting the defender. "Differentials" like this are vital in grabbing unexpected points, and it certainly beats having John O'Shea back there.

Keeping up the bargain-basement flavour (tastes like chorizo) of my backline is Stoke's Philipp Wollscheid, my official Irrational Confidence Pick. The German centre-half, also priced at 4.5, is a cheap way in to a Stoke backline which managed nine clean sheets last term. When fit, Wollscheid was first choice alongside Ryan Shawcross after arriving from Bayer Leverkusen in January, and the twice-capped defender should make more of an impression in his first full season.

Spurs will reunite Toby Alderweireld and Jan Vertonghen

Picking a Tottenham Hotspur defender fills me with trepidation, but the next spot at the back must go to Belgian thoroughbred Toby Alderweireld, newly signed from Atletico Madrid. 5.0 is a fantastic price for a defender who was outstanding on loan for Southampton last season, clocking up nine clean sheets in just 25 games. It also bodes well for Alderweireld's minutes that Spurs' other options alongside Jan Vertonghen at centre-half are footballing luminaries Eric Dier and Federico Fazio. The 47-times capped international can also fill in at right-back, although the rampaging Kieran Trippier (5.5) should be first choice after joining from Burnley.

While FPL crams all defenders under the same positional umbrella, it only feels right to have a proper balance of centre-halves and full-backs, and Chelsea's Cesar "Dave" Azpilicueta is one of the league's best in the latter role. With Felipe Luis returning to Spain after an underwhelming spell at Stamford Bridge, Azpilicueta goes into 2015/16 as the champions' undisputed first choice at left-back. Along with 13 clean sheets, his herky-jerky runs into the opposition half mustered three assists last season. He's relatively cheap, too, at 6.0. To put that into context, noted shithouse Gary Cahill is priced at 6.5, despite earning less points than Azpilicueta last year. It's a no-brainer.

Matteo Darmian: United's new right-back

Rounding off the defence is Manchester United's Matteo Darmian, an attacking right-back recently arrived from Torino. Like Azpilicueta, he's a full-back who plays "off the wrong foot", in this case a left-footer on the right flank. Darmian, who shone for Italy in last summer's World Cup, is set to be first choice at Old Trafford after Rafael's departure to Lyon and will be given licence to get forward under Louis van Gaal. While not that regular a goalscorer or assist-maker in Serie A (six goals, 11 assists in 150 games for Torino), the Premier League should suit the athletic 25-year-old, and 5.5 is a fine price for a starting full-back in a Champions League side. For context, consider the likes of Nacho Monreal, Steven Caulker and Aleksandar Kolarov are available at the same price.

Join me very soon (too soon) for part three of the preview, where you'll find out my midfield picks,  and sign up to my league with the code 382422-233533