The Shanghai Derby, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Shenxin

Upon seeing a yellow cockerel on a blue jersey, your mind may be flooded with fond memories of Gallic footballing genius. You will recall the surgical penalty-box precision of Michel Platini, the dazzling dribbles of a young Franck Ribery, or the silken touch of Zinedine Zidane. Be happy, dear reader, because you have never witnessed Shanghai Shenxin.

Platini: nothing to do with Shenxin

Shenxin recently adopted a blue kit, cockerels and all, as part of a rather radical shift in club identity. Having enjoyed eight moderately successful seasons in Jiangxi province as Nanchang Bayi Hengyuan Football Club, the club's directors decided to uproot the club some 450 miles to Shanghai. Wimbledon fans thought they had it bad. Not content with infuriating football fans in Nanchang, Shenxin managed to wind up traditional Shanghainese soccer powerhouse Shenhua FC by changing the colours of their jerseys to match Shenhua's own blue kits. Shenhua fans responded in kind by nicknaming the city's new team "the wandering cocks".

It was against this tumultuous backdrop that the first Shanghai derby of the season got underway. Still feeling the effects of St. Patrick's Day celebrations, your correspondent arrived at Shenxin's Yuanshen Stadium with only ten minutes to spare before the scheduled kick-off time. This being a Chinese sporting event, I had grossly underestimated the amount of time it would take to secure a genuine match ticket. I was informed by a number of supporters that the game had sold out, and the ticket office was indeed closed. After some haggling on the part of a more skilled Mandarin speaker than myself, we were able to get a touted ticket for 80 RMB (about eight pounds). When we finally took our seats, however, it was a surprise that the sold-out stadium was perhaps two thirds full.

Sold-out stadium with chain smokers in foreground

Even more frustrating than our seated position behind four middle-aged chain smokers was that fact that we had missed what turned out to be the game's only goal. Internet video highlights inform me that Michael Marrone, Shenxin's twice-capped Australian international, dwelt on the ball too long and presented Shenhua the chance to launch a swift counter-attack. Shenhua's Syrian forward Firas Al-Khatib did well to hold up play before sliding a pass to Patricio Toranzo, who supplied a neat finish. 1-0 to Shenhua.

This early goal set a pattern for the rest of the match to follow, with Shenxin's sloppy errors when in possession allowing Shenhua to break at pace. That these errors were forced by a defence marshaled by the 40-year-old Rolando Schiavi only highlights Shenxin's lack of potency in attack. Even more embarrassing for Shenxin was their profligacy from set pieces, with the crowd groaning as free kicks and corners were repeatedly walloped over the heads of attackers and out for throw-ins.

It was ironic, then, that the nearest Shenxin would come to an equaliser would be from a dead ball. Brazilian striker Kieza, who had hitherto done little, connected with a floated free kick to plant a firm header past Wang Delei in the Shenhua goal. The offside flag was raised, however, with replays suggesting a close but correct call. This is refreshing in China, where the standard of refereeing sometimes compares unfavourably with the British Sunday leagues.

The only other major refereeing call in a tense second half was more straightforward, as Shenxin's Xu Wen saw red after sliding in on Schiavi with the sort of two-footed horror lunge usually accompanied with a cry of "Keanoooo". Wen trudged off the pitch with the taunts of Shenhua fans, who made up the majority of the crowd despite playing away, ringing in his ears. In a slightly more amusing accompaniment to a chant which roughly translates as "Shenxin filthy cunt", a number of Shenhua's ultras also pelted the departing defender with rubber chickens thrown from the stands.

Shanghai Shenhua's "Blue Boys" ultras

Shenhua, while not particularly impressive on the night, always looked in control of the match and saw out the game with relative ease. Their fans will be impressed with Schiavi, who while possessing Davie Weir-class pace, nevertheless reads the game well and made a number of important challenges. Wang Delei looked assured in goal, while Al-Khatib looks to have added energy and guile to the forward line.

Shenxin, despite their derby-day defeat, can at least take solace in finding a new fan. While their relocation, complete with changing kit colours, represents everything wrong with modern football, I found the squad's collective ineptitude to be rather endearing. This team, which only escaped relegation from the Chinese top-flight due to Dalian Shide's financial implosion, frequently struggled to string four passes together against their local rivals. Their strikers are lightweight, their midfielders prosaic and their defenders blessed with goldfish attention spans, but it is Pudong's team. And as long as I reside on the East bank of the river, they shall have my support. The tainted memories of French footballing perfection are a small price to pay.